Fritinancy

The Cadillac of Language Columns

That would be Ben Zimmer's "On Language" column in Sunday's New York Times Magazine, "Cadillac Thrives As a Figure of Speech." In fact, I'd encourage you to read it even if I weren't quoted in it.

Here's a tasty passage in which I'm not quoted;  it's worth reading anyway, as is all of Ben Zimmer's writing:

It was perhaps a bad sign when, in a print ad in 1979, Cadillac felt the need to remind consumers that it was still “the Cadillac of cars.” As the fortunes of Cadillac declined in the ’80s and ’90s, the old laudatory expression became a source of pop-cultural satire: Krusty the Clown on “The Simpsons” endorsed an S.U.V. called the Canyonero as “the Cadillac of automobiles”; the rental-car attendant in the film “Get Shorty” assured John Travolta's character that the Oldsmobile Silhouette was “the Cadillac of minivans.” Most recently, in the HBO series “The Wire,” when the young female thug Snoop is sold what a salesman calls the Cadillac of nail guns, she dismisses his pitch with the line, “He mean Lexus, but he ain’t know it.”

I sure miss "The Wire."

Opportunism Knocks

This ad for Saks Fifth Avenue appeared on page A3 of Monday's New York Times:

I skimmed along until opportunistic brought me up short. Opportunistic? Really?

It's clearly the wrong word. But why? And what should it have been?

Any Color, As Long As It's Printable

General Motors, apparently not satisfied with a $30 billion government bailout, is asking U.S. citizens to chip in just one more tiny little thing: a color name for the new Chevy Volt, the world's first mass-produced extended-range electric vehicle.

From the photos, I'd say it looks silverish-greenish. But hey, we're Americans! We can do better!

So GM sponsored a contest (deadline was this morning, I regret to inform). And then Autopia, Wired.com's car blog, spread the word.

And the fun began.

Suffice it to say that Autopia's readers exibit little of the earnest enthusiasm of the official entrants. Compare the two sets of comments and judge for yourself.

My favorites: Lame Green, Data Gathering Blue Disguised As a Contest Green, and Socialist Red ("Darn right we should be able to name it we paid for it").

And special credit to Some Guy, who submitted "Can't Afford to Hire Our Own Marketing Firm Green" on the GM site.

Hat tip: Anthony Shore, who commented on LinkedIn: "It's a contest. What could possibly go wrong?"

Webster's New World Dictionary Word of the Year

It's distracted driving.

From Webster's Word of the Year website:

A sign of the times surely, distracted driving is another reflection – and consequence – of our ongoing romance with all things digital and mobile and the enhanced capabilities they provide. While it now may be easier and quicker to feed our multitasking habits, it is not always safe, and many jurisdictions are formalizing that position by making it a crime to text or otherwise use a cellphone while driving. In other words, CrackBerry users beware, lest a charge of DWD (driving while distracted) or DWT (driving while texting) stain your record, not to mention endanger yourself and others.

Distracted driving is an example of hypallage, also known as "transferred epithet." Translation: It isn't the driving that's distracted, but the driver. In today's edition of Word Routes, Ben Zimmer expands on hypallage and on Word of the Year (WOTY) contests.

Webster's New World Dictionary always makes one of the earliest WOTY announcements. Other WOTY selections will follow in the next couple of months. The big kahuna of such contests is sponsored by the American Dialect Society, which will reveal its 2009 WOTY at the society's annual meeting, to be held in Baltimore in January.

Not only that: ADS is currently accepting nominations for Word of the Decade 2000-2009.  The previous Word of the Decade (1990-1999) was web.

Webster's 2008 WOTY was overshare.

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Poster image from here.

Word of the Week: Mockolate

Mockolate: A derisive term for an ingredient used as a chocolate substitute that contains cocoa solids but no cocoa butter. Cheaper than real chocolate, mockolate is sometimes found in inexpensive confections and baked goods, sometimes described as "chocolate-y coating" or "milk compound chocolate."

Mockolate hasn't yet shown up in published dictionaries. (Mocktail, however, appears in the fourth edition of the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, published in 2006.) The online Double-Tongued Dictionary provides a single citation for mockolate, from a 2008 Seattle Post-Intelligencer article, "On a Mission for 'True' Chocolate." The article quotes molecular biologist Andy McShea, chief operating officer of Theo Chocolate, who provides a more general definition of the word than the one I've provided above:

Andy McShea is a Harvard-trained molecular biologist using his scientific talent in Seattle to promote "true chocolate" and steer consumers away from inadvertently ingesting all that other brown sweet stuff he says is often unhealthy, morally questionable and not the real thing.

"We like to call it 'mockolate,' " said McShea, his British accent rising with indignation. "Most of the stuff sold as chocolate out in the world today is not really chocolate."

But mockolate predates that citation. CandyBlog, which reviews confections from around the world, wrote in October 2005 that the brown coating on Almond Roca and Cashew is "not real chocolate, but it's pretty good mockolate." The word gained currency during the spring of 2007, when the U.S. Food and Drug Administration was considering proposed changes to food standards to allow “a vegetable fat in place of another vegetable fat named in the standard (e.g., cacao fat)” when manufacturing chocolate. "Chocolate lovers read that as a direct assault on their palates," reported the Washington Post:

Chocolate purists, of which there are apparently many, have undertaken a grassroots letter-writing campaign to the FDA to inform the agency that such a change to the standards is just not okay with them. More than 225 comments to the petition have been processed so far by the agency, and chocolate bloggers are pressing for more. In the annals of bureaucratic Washington battles, this is a sweet one.

Food bloggers took up the cause, and Guittard, a premium chocolate manufacturer based in the Bay Area since 1868, put up a website, www.don'tmesswithourchocolate.com (since removed). In the end the FDA rejected the proposed changes.

However, mockolate can still be found in the candy aisle. The candy blog ZOMG, Candy! diligently alerts consumer to mockolate in confections such as 5th Avenue.

The earliest citation of mockolate I could find was in the Nov. 16, 1995, episode of Friends, "The One with the List," in which Monica gets a job making food with a synthetic chocolate substitute called Mockolate (presumably meant to be a brand name), which has "a taste that'll last till Christmas." A commenter on CandyBlog helpfully provided relevant chunks of dialogue from that episode. Here's one:

MONICA: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.

RACHEL: Oh my god.

MONICA: Oh my god good?

RACHEL: Oh my god, I can’t believe you let me put this in my mouth.

PHOEBE: Oh, oh sweet lord! This is what evil must taste like!

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Photo from EW.com. (That's EW as in Entertainment Weekly, not ewwww.)

To Die For

I'm not so sure about this testimonial for the Manduka High Performance Yoga Mat:

" ... the Taj Mahal of yoga mats!"

The Taj Mahal may be a lovely building but, as Colleen (Communicatrix) Wainwright correctly points out, it's a tomb.

On the other hand, what better way to get in the mood for Savasana, the yoga position that concludes every class?  Literal translation: "Corpse Pose."

More yoga enigmas here. And more wacky comparisons in Mark Peters's The Rosa Parks of Blogs.

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According to the website, Manduka was named in honor of the frog pose, Mandukasana. 

Image of Corpse Pose from My Yoga Online.

Hauntrepreneurs

 You probably know about my fascination with the productive -preneur suffix ("Enterprising Language," Sept. 1). Everyone, it seems, is a specialized entrepreneur these days—a mompreneur, solopreneur, warrior-preneur, or journopreneur.*

Here's a new-to-me -preneur, just in time for Halloween: Hauntrepreneurs International (tagline: "Haunted Attractions for Sale!").

That's a dandy coinage: It's witty, it echoes the sound of entrepreneur, and it instantly communicates its its meaning.

The website, however, is short on wit and long on get 'er done:

Hauntrepreneurs® International is the only broker specializing in selling previously owned Haunted Houses, Haunted Hay Rides, Haunted Trails, Dark Rides and Haunting Equipment for the Haunted Attraction Industry. Formed in 1987 the company has sold hundreds of attractions to Amusement Parks, Family Fun Centers and individuals all over the country.

Working as a middleman Hauntrepreneurs® International hammers out price negotiations, prepares contracts and makes sure that both parties act in good faith throughout the process. In addition, Hauntrepreneurs® International can provide services to the buyer/seller including Installation Assistance, Event Consulting, Refurbishment and Attraction Redesign.

“We put our reputation on the line each time we bring a buyer and seller together, and strive to create a ‘Win win’ opportunity for the clients!”

"Win win"? Ugh, ugh.

Which is not to say there aren't treasures to be found here. Do, for instance, take a few minutes to check out the "attractions" for sale. Here is a very partial list of the props included with the Haunted Estate (15,000 square feet; "only $175,000"):

20 Tiki Torches
1 Old Style Dryer
1 Body Bag (real)
1 Stretcher/Gurney
3 Medical Back Boards
10 Soft Stuffed Bodies
2 Oscilloscopes
1 Resuscitation Annie
1 Defibrillator (real)
1 Wheelchair
1 Electric Typewriter
1 Exercise Bike
1 Trunk
2 set Funeral Parlor Curtains
1 Electric Leaf Blower
1 Electric Sparking Chain Saw

Check, check, check ... hold on: Exercise bike?

Hauntrepreneurs International is based in Charlotte, North Carolina. Operators are standing by, no doubt cackling ghoulishly. 

Hat tip: Erin McKean. Image from Buried.com.

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* I have searched in vain for manurepreneur, a coinage in search of a business plan.

Undeath Takes a Holiday

There's never been a better time to be undead, what with True Blood, Twilight, and The Vampire Diaries infusing fresh blood into the vampire genre and zombies taking over banks and companies. For your Halloween shopping enjoyment, Comics Alliance has unearthed the worst of this year's vampire-themed products—which, depending on your perspective, may also be considered the cream of the crop. 

Not only can you buy a Buffy the Vampire Slayer wooden stake—yes, an actual piece of wood—for $100, but you can also own a preserved pig heart (very similar to a human heart, anatomically) with a stake through it. The latter trinket will set you back $225, but you do get a wooden display chest in the bargain.

I learned a new word from the Comics Alliance people: "reborning." It refers to the practice of painting a doll to make it look more like a real baby. Combine reborning with undead and you get this winsome keepsake:

Wook at the cute widdle fangs!

I have no idea how much it cost, because it's sold out at the Wicked Little Things Etsy store. However, the same vendor still has a different OOAK (one-of-a-kind) Reborn Vampire Horror Fantasy Doll in stock for $60 (shipping extra).

For sheer weirdness, however, you can't beat the Sexy Vampire Menstrual Goddess XL/Postpartum Cloth Pad, which bears the welcoming image of a suspiciously healthy-looking undead dude.

It too is an Etsy item, but you'll also find it on Regretsy, an unaffiliated site whose name speaks for itself. (Tagline: "Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet.") I'm in awe of the simple perfection of Regretsy's title for the SVMGXL/PCP: "The Curse."

(Hat tip: Mr. WordsWorth on Twitter.)

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Check out my previous posts about Halloween branding:

- The pumpkin festival in my local cemetery (2006).

- A few of my favorite necro-brands (2007). 

- Vampire wine (2007).

How Amoeba Music Got Its Name

The San Francisco Chronicle recently posed three questions to Mark Weinstein, co-owner of independent music retailer Amoeba Music. Here's Question No. 3:

Q: Where did the name "Amoeba" come from?

A: We wanted to name our company "something-something" music. The word "amoeba" came up because it sounded good with "music." We just wanted it to be a psychedelic kind of name that students would relate to. As it turns out, it's a great name for who we are and what we do. First of all, amoebas split into two, and we've done that, too, with our most recent stores. And there's an amorphous nature to music, and (the name) just takes a quality of being a great metaphor for music, our growth and who we are.

By "'something-something' music" I'm supposing that Mr. Weinstein meant that the owners (a) wanted "music" in the name and (b) wanted to modify "music" with another word or words. By "psychedelic"-sounding I'm inferring he means neither corporate nor tech-y. And by "split into two" I imagine he means "split in three." Amoeba, which calls itself "The World's Largest Independent Record Store" and which was founded in Berkeley in 1990—many years after the psychedelic heyday—now has stores in Hollywood and San Francisco in addition to the original Telegraph Avenue location.

(If I'd been in charge, I'd have created a more rigorous naming brief.)

Is Amoeba "a great metaphor" for "who we are"? Let's look at the Who We Are page:

Amoeba Music began at a time when the huge chain stores were mercilessly swallowing up independent stores and local chain stores, depriving communities across the country of a personal relationship with their music outlets, and destroying the opportunity to discover a whole world of music beyond what corporate retailers wanted them to see.  Amoeba arose out of that community of music lovers that wanted a better place for music than a corporate chain store -- one with the widest possible selection, better service, and more respect for people's ideas and lives.

Personally, I don't get "large," "independent," "personal relationship," "better service," and "more respect" out of "Amoeba." I get "microscopically small," "elemental," "devoid of consciousness," and "shapeless." The name does succeed in suggesting "non-corporate," though. And it's sorta psychedelic in a lava-lamp way.

The business has survived for almost 20 years, so the Amoeba name is evidently not a serious liability. "Amoeba" is fun and easy to say (if not to spell), it's nerdy enough to suit its origins in the heart of academia, and the blobby logo has a freeform, how-Berkeley-can-you-be flavor. Best of all, the owners were lucid enough to snap up the very desirable domain Amoeba.com before anyone beat them to it.

Word of the Week: Minisode

Minisode: An abbreviated adaptation of a television show for the Internet that retains the original show's characters and narrative arc. The word is a portmanteau of miniature and episode.

The pioneer in the fledgling minisode format is Sony Pictures Television, which launched its Minisode Network in June 2007. In October 2007, the New York Times reported that Sony had condensed 18 "vintage" TV series, including "Bewitched" and "Charlie's Angels," from their original 30- or 60-minute episode length to 4 or 6 minutes. "The minisodes are not excerpts or clip jobs," wrote Times reporter Stuart Elliott; "they are edited in a way that compresses the story lines and enables the viewers to follow the plots from beginning to end."

According to an earlier Times story, the minisode idea first occurred to Sony Television's president, Steve Mosko, and the company's head of distribution, John Weiser, when they saw "Seven-Minute Sopranos," a condensed version of the entire 77-hour "Sopranos" series that played on YouTube.

In February 2009 Sony launched minisodes of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Television Specials.

The minisodes can be viewed on several websites, including Hulu, Crackle, and Joost. Sony also maintains a Minisode Network profile, sponsored by Honda, on MySpace.

The Crackle shows have been sponsored by Pepsi. However, there's no word about whether the soft-drink maker plans to introduce mini-sodas to accompany the minisodes.

Hat tip: Ad Broad.